USSA.

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USSA.

The United States are due for a name change, lest the name gets boring. It should henceforth be called The United Socialist States of America. USSA for short. Why, you ask ? Well, here's why :

1. You can't fire anybody anymore. Sure, you can have job cuts, if you can prove you have a good reason, and you discuss it with the community, and throw so much money at the fired idiots (called severance compensation) it's no longer any fun. Who the fuck wants to pay people they fire ? Shooting them is cheaper. Who cares anyway, if they were any use you wouldn't be firing them.

Essentially firing people is a paperwork affair, all the guts kicked out of it. You can't just personally fire anyone, it has to be done through Human Resources. So as to make sure they can't sue, they say. Forget about screaming "You're fired" on the hallways. It's simply not acceptable anymore. And for sure forget about "Suck my cock or pack up your shit". Who the hell even wants to hire anyone if you can't fire them ? All the fun has been taken out of it.

2. Absolutely typical for any burgeoning attempt at instating socialism, there is a constant mangling of practical, immediate human sexual interest for imagined "greater good", or "principles". If a 14 year old kid gets lucky and fucks the brains out of his hot sexy blond teacher, everybody involved is walked down the plank for various imagined misdeeds. See, she has violated her role as guardian. Well, who the fuck gives a shit what anyone else figured her role was ? Obviously enough, in between the two her role was on all fours.

You can't have sex with anyone you work with. Very smart. Let's make the workplace as barren and boring as we possibly can, and then wonder why people can't be bothered to get jobs, and why we absolutely need to forbid employers from ever firing anyone. And of course there's all the rest of the puritan crap unabated, about fucking someone else's wife, about fucking the minister's wife, about fucking people you don't know, about fucking people someone else would want a shot at, etc etc ad nauseam.

Back in the 60's, the US seemed to be about to wake up from hilarious centuries of sexual repression. Fifty years later, it's apparent what really happened is the population got split up between the ten percent who behave like actual human beings, and the remainder of ninety percent who are absolute wankers, substitute watching TV for having sex, and are just as sexually repressed and yet strangely obsessed as their grand-grand-grand-patents. There's no in between, and the government is trying to enforce the rights of both groups to live together. Not that it works much, but anyway.

3. Absolutely typical for any burgeoning attempt at instating socialism, there is a constant mangling of habits and traditions that used to have some religious connotation, but now are merely historical landmarks, and important for the people mostly through that historical perspective, for the sake of imagined "greater good", or "principles". The soviets used to bulldoze churches and torture priests to "save the masses from undiscerning mysticism", let alone that the very procedure was undiscerning mysticism at it's best, and let alone that most people wanted their church and their priest so as to not differ too much from their own parent's lives, or from what they remembered of their childhoods.

God forbid you might say god forbid. Actually, I am sure it's not allowed on public property. You certainly can't have natality scenes anymore. Good, they sucked. But nowadays, Christmas trees are a problem. Boston gets a Christmas tree every year from Nova Scotia, and this year they decided to call it a "Holyday tree". Obviously someone in Nova Scotia told them they aren't getting any sort of tree other than a Christmas one, so it's back to Christmas tree now. And some other bright chap came up with the idea of changing all the money supply so the phrase "In God we trust" be taken out. Fucking smart, it will take decades to re-mint all the coins, and let's not forget, currency is privately held. What are you going to do, get the CIA to break in every mud hut in Tanzania where two nickels can be found in a clay pot ? It would be cheaper to just give the money away.

And of course some other chap has been in and out of court for what, five years now ? trying to get his daughter to not have to say "under God" in school. By now the girl is a grown woman, she forgot all the algebra she ever knew, and she spends most weekends under Gordon, but that is all besides the point. Her father is still going to court, like other people go fishing or buy houses in Florida with their pension money. Nice hobby, isn't it ?

4. Nobody owns anything anymore. How many people do you know that work for an actual physical person ? How many people have actually ever talked to the owner of the thing they are working for ? Unless you're a waitress, not many. How shocking, in the US ownership has been abolished by means of turning it into something so arcane, so removed from the daily lives of the citizens that nobody ever interacts with this strange thing called "ownership". And even if they do interact, it's as impersonal as possible. Consequently, the need for a huge bureaucracy to handle all the paperwork making everything as impersonal as possible is immense. Statistically, every kid you know will become either a lawyer, an accountant or a movie star. Seeing how there's maybe 50 stars every generation, I'd say the future is all cut out for them.

Who even cares about all the bullshit paperwork, who wants to go to work for a cardboard company, who the hell wants to live in a country made of lawyers and accountants ? Do not question the superior intellect of the socialist state.

5. All the cool crumbling empires of history were represented by four letters. SPQR and CCCP immediately come to mind. USSA doesn't sound so bad in that company.

It's amusing to see history from a nice high place. There's phases of things, you see. And by things I mean large masses of people. Democracy turns to Oligarchy. Oligarchy turns to shit. Capitalism turns to Socialism. Socialism turns to shit. And out of that shit, a new frontier emerges, and if they get lucky they instate a new Republic, which starts it all over again.

13 people quit their job in protest.

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