The Deeds and Lives of Great Men.

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The Deeds and Lives of Great Men.

There is little more entertaining than checking out the bible thumping crowd. Let's see this week's harvest

Just days before "Southern Decadence", an annual homosexual celebration attracting tens of thousands of people to the French Quarters section of New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina destroys the city.

New Orleans is also known for its Mardi Gras parties where thousands of drunken men revel in the streets to exchange plastic jewelry for drunken women to expose their breasts. This annual event sparked the creation of the "Girls Gone Wild" video series.

We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long," Marcavage said. "May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God.

"[God] sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." (Matthew 5:45)

This comes out of a speech actually delivered, and proudly posted on some website or other, that I won't do the favor of linking from here (but if you really are the sort of nitpick that won't take a god's word for it, you can always google for an extensive quote).

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- A mother is behind bars after St. Petersburg police say she and her five children were seen on the street naked and carrying Bibles.

Police have arrested the woman and charged her with child abuse and exposure of sexual organs.

The children range in age from 5 to 15 years old. Police say they will be turned over to relatives.

The woman says that God told her that she and her children should walk down the street naked.

I suppose there is a little bit of Florida God missed this time.

Add to that the Pope Benedict XVI told Catholics to have more babies "for the good of society," saying that some countries were being sapped of energy because of low birth rates.

Just that is probably enough to reconstruct an ideal Christian community. It consists of people having a lot of babies who are then paraded naked around the streets carrying Bibles, right before being washed into the nearby lake for being naked in the street.

All in all, makes perfect sense, in a religious sort of way. Let's consider for a moment what would it look like out there if politicians started making sense in a religious sort of way. Firstly, there would exist a Department of Economical Planning, and yet you couldn't find anything that wasn't in short supply. There would exist a Department of State Security, and it would be happily defending the state. From it's own citizens. They would have a National Worker's Union, joining which would be mandatory and it would be a sub-department of the Department of Labour. They would have a Department of Free Speech, the DFS to replace the current FCC, only do things right and clean cut, none of the protracted half ass attempts they pull at the moment. They would have an all volunteer force, to which every single male strangely volunteers. And for sure everyone would be required to vote, under penalty of being drawn and quartered.

It would be very much an ideal life. In the sense nobody could actually live there, much like nobody could actually live in the ideal storm. Uncomfortable as it might well be to live in, it would be very easy to understand. In a religious sort of way. It wouldn't take you any brains to do anything at all, simply because nothing made sense anyway, in which case what do you need brains for ? Essentially all this religious reform crap is an attempt by people too stupid to understand the world as it is to force it to be as they could understand it. No wonder most everyone else is puzzled.

Let's consider for a moment what would happen if engineers started making sense in a religious sort of way. For one, we would have wonderful objects sitting around, like the coffee mug with the handle inside. The office with no door. The bathroom with the toilet on the ceiling. The rubber band car. The sifter-head condoms. Towns built in the middle of nowhere, consisting of only liquor stores, or only laundromats, or only taxi stands. Miles and miles and miles of taxi stands with taxis in them that can only take you to another taxi stand. It could be called Taxi City. It would really make things simple. You're in Budweiser, you know what's in the fridge. Except it would also be kinda difficult, what with all the airports at the North Pole flying in all directions (but landing at the North Pole).

This little trip in stupid-land allows us to come up with a scale. Engineers would never start with this sort of shit, therefore they aren't that dumb. Politicians say they would never start with this sort of shit, but they don't sound convincing, and besides, they aren't to be trusted. Thus, they are relatively stupid. Religious folks live with this shit on a daily basis, or at least try to and pretend to. They are obviously the pits of stupidity.

Next time you meet one, tell them I said so.

Bill O'Reilly smoked 12 miles of blunts on the air.

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