Stupidity Test.

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Stupidity Test.

I always affirmed humans are particularly stupid creatures. Symptomatically, this is obvious bit of truth is frequently challenged. To settle the point, I offer you the Stupidity Test bellow.

I. Personal History.

Minor infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract one point.

I.1. You ever advocated the use of warning labels of any kind.
I.2. You ever bought any gifts for more than $2.00 in an attempt to humour a sore girlfriend/boyfriend.
I.3. You ever applied to join any police force.
I.4. You voluntarily joined any army at a time of peace.
I.5. You ever owned any piece of machinery you have not disassembled.
I.6. You disassembled any piece of machinery you couldn't put back together.
I.7. You ever had a credit card.
I.8. Any password you ever used contained a dictionary word.
I.9. `/0u (4|\| 233d +|-|15.
I.10. You ever started an Internet Petition.

Significant infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract two points.

I.11. You ever paid full retail.
I.12. You ever read an instruction manual.
I.13. You ever had cyber sex.
I.14. You ever went to jail.
I.15. You have been in your present job for more than two years.
I.16. You never sued anybody.
I.18. As a rule, when people disagreed with you it usually turned out they were right.
I.19. You own any brand name clothing.
I.20. You were ever involved in a pyramid scheme (including Social Security).

Severe infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract three points.

I.21. You took more than three IQ tests in your life.
I.22. You ever won a trivia contest.
I.23. You ever flunked Math or Logic.
I.24. You bought any item with no immediate use to you because all your friends had it.
I.25. You ever read junk mail without realizing it was junk mail.
I.26. You ever claimed you like "All kinds of music", "All types of sport" or "All movies".
I.27. You know who would win in a battle between Spiderman and Superman.
I.28. You ever got a tattoo with a meaning you didn't comprehend at the time.
I.29. Your car ever ran out of gas in the middle of the highway.
I.30. You ever went to jail for a crime you didn't commit.

Grievous infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract five points.

I.31. You ever accidentally shot yourself.
I.32. You ever pissed on your own shoes.
I.33. You ever walked into a wall or pole.
I.35. You ever forwarded an email that was not sent to you only.
I.36. You are part of any cult, or believe more than one conspiracy theory to be accurate representations of reality.
I.37. You consider your religious, moral or ethical persuasions to be superior to any others.
I.38. You have read less than one thousand books since you were born (items under 250 pages do not count).
I.39. You watched TV more than two hours a day for any period over one week.
I.40. You ever walked into any robbery in progress.

II. Present Situation.

Minor infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract one point.

II.1. You are filling this test.
II.2. You are currently considering accepting a pay cut.
II.3. Your hair color is blond.
II.4. You do not currently have your house or car keys.
II.5. You put $20 in a sock in case you get robbed, and that sock currently is in the laundry machine.
II.6. You do not know your IP address.
II.7. You do not know how much money you have on you.
II.8. You are planning to get married.
II.9. You have at least one child, aged 18 or over living at your place.
II.10. There are no books in the room you are in right now.

Significant infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract two points.

II.11. You are using external means to keep track of your score.
II.12. You are married in spite of not being the one asking.
II.13. You plan to buy any Sony or Microsoft products.
II.14. You are a registered Republican.
II.15. You are a registered Democrat.
II.17. You think rules are to be obeyed.
II.18. You think you live in the best country there is.
II.19. You can't do fractions in your head.
II.20. You can not name your favorite flower.

Severe infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract three points.

II.21. You are currently married.
II.22. Your children never worked before leaving home.
II.23. You know what your mother would think about this test.
II.24. You think you understand quantum thermodynamics.
II.25. You have mentioned your academic qualifications in general conversation today.
II.26. You are a member of the Flat Earth Society, or the Cult of Scientology.
II.27. You do not want to be on TV because then you'd have to come up with something to say.
II.28. Your knowledge on any subject is based on something you saw on TV.
II.29. You drive a SUV.
II.30. You oppose animal testing.

Grievous infractions : Every time you answer YES, subtract five points.

II.31. You believe copyright should be enforced.
II.32. You ate fast food this morning and frozen dinners last night.
II.33. In spite of answering yes to II.32, you know the cholesterol, calorie and carb values of most foods.
II.34. You think wrestling is for real, or you think Santa exists.
II.35. You automatically call "friends" any people you have known more than a year.
II.36. Your last name is Quayle.
II.37. If you have or would have a daughter and she is in highschool she is or would be a virgin.
II.38. You are fluent in one language only.
II.39. You enjoy reading genre fiction.
II.40. It is against your morals to accept a blood or organ donation in a hospital environment.

Scoring :

0 to 10 : In between a carrot and a chopstick
11 to 20 : Absolutely braindead.
21 to 30 : Idiocy world record contender.
31 to 40 : Severely dumb.
41 to 49 : Solidly stupid.
50 to 67 : Paper bag exit-challenged.
69 : You have your bright moments.
70 to 79 : Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
80 to 85 : Bearable if quiet.
86 to 91 : Vaguely and intermittently sentient.
92 to 99 : As far as high as any human can go.

If for whatever reason your score is below 0, you are obviously not qualified to make any comments, and especially not any disparaging comments about this test.

13 people can't believe how stupid they are.

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this page was made using a bent spoon. anything else is for failures