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Smoking and Being Fat.
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People went berserk over the entire smoking thing, and came up with all sorts of rules and laws on the subject. Presumably because smoking is bad for you, and should be curbed.
Well, here's news. Being fat is worse for you. Looky here :
NCHS : Deaths-Leading Causes
(Data are for U.S. for 2003)
Number of deaths for leading causes of death
Heart Disease: 685,089
Cancer: 556,902
Stroke: 157,689
Now it occurs to me that heart disease and stroke correlate with fat better than cancer correlates with smoking. In fact :
"Smoking accounts for some 30% of all cancer deaths." (American Cancer Society)
So, chalk up 167,076 idiots to smoking in 2003.
On the other hand, look at these two tables here :
Table 1. Prevalence of Medical Conditions
by Body Mass Index (BMI) for Men |
| Medical Condition |
Body Mass Index |
| 18.5
to 24.9 |
25
to 29.9 |
30
to 34.9 |
>
40 |
| |
Prevalence Ratio (%) |
| Type 2 Diabetes |
2.03 |
4.93 |
10.10 |
10.65 |
| Coronary Heart Disease |
8.84
|
9.60
|
16.01
|
19.37 |
| High Blood Pressure |
23.47
|
34.16 |
48.95
|
64.53 |
| Osteoarthritis |
2.59 |
4.55
|
4.66 |
10.04 |
| Source: NHANES III, 1988 - 1994. |
Table 2. Prevalence of Medical Conditions
by Body Mass Index (BMI) for Women |
| Medical Condition |
Body
Mass Index |
| 18.5
to 24.9 |
25
to 29.9 |
30
to 34.9 |
>
40 |
| |
Prevalence
Ratio (%) |
| Type 2 Diabetes |
2.38 |
7.12
|
7.24
|
19.89 |
| Coronary Heart Disease |
6.87
|
11.13 |
12.56 |
19.22 |
| High Blood Pressure |
23.26
|
38.77 |
47.95
|
63.16 |
| Osteoarthritis |
5.22 |
8.51
|
9.94
|
17.19 |
| Source: NHANES III, 1988 - 1994. |
"Currently, Approximately 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese." (American Obesity Association)
The US population stands at 296,410,404, of which 215,937139 are adults (US census bureau)
Let's play the numbers game. 20 million people are normal, and have a heart disease incidence of 7.85. 126 million people are fat, and have a heart disease incidence of 10.36. 60 million people are very fat, and have a heart disease incidence of 14.28. 9 million people are incredibly fat, and have a heart disease incidence of 19.29. Thus the overall incidence is 11.54, and if everyone was normal it would be 7.85.
Therefore, of the total 685,089 heart disease deaths in 2003, we can say 466.026 (or 68%) died of plain heart disease, and 219,063 (or 32%) died of fatty's heart disease.
Chalk up 219,063 idiots to fat in 2003.
So, being fat is 1.30 times as bad for you as smoking is. In fact, if you exercise regularly and smoke, you are in better shape and likely to live longer than someone who doesn't smoke and doesn't leave the fast food joint. If you exercise with a soda in your hand tho, all bets are off.
All these comparisons have been between heart disease and cancer. Cancer is by far the most serious effect of smoking. Heart disease is however just one of the many, countless effects of being a lardass. Everything, from diabethes to arthritis and depression is caused by being fat. In fact, a fatty is probably twice to five times more expensive to society than a smoker.
Given these facts, why perpetuate the discrimination ? A host of measures must be taken imediatelly :
All fatties are to be banned from all public buildings. No more stepping on your toe. No more breaking windows by farting. No more burning out the industrial strenght air conditioner by sitting close to it. No more sweat and lard splotches on the toilet seat. No more crushed chairs and dented walls. No more taking up the whole elevator. No more finishing the entire stock of candy bars in the machine.
No more.
It's time we pass a law about it. If you want to be overweight, do it on your own property, to your own things. Why should people be forced to wear gas masks and bring strong boxes instead of brown bags to work ? Why should the company spend 50k a month on the receptionist's wages and 150k a week on candy dish refills ? Why should there be a towel service as if the office was some sort of exercise club ?
In some exceptional cases, there could be special rooms organised for fatty containment. Given some sort of warking, engineers could design things so that they withstand the fatty fury. Five inch kevlar floors. Solid steel anything, from keyboards to door knobs and pencils. Chairs made out of specially formulated, heat and pressure resisting polymers, like the ones they make weapons from.
They could have special loading and unloading implements, like cranes and chutes, instead of the more common door and stair. There would be seats of proper capacity, 10 square yards of stool space. In fact, there won't even be any need to walk. The entire room could have this false, tilting floor so if Mr Wobbly needs to go anywhere, he could just tumble there. Seriously. Remote controlled floor inclinations wouldn't even be all that hard to do. Certainly nothing compared to, for instance, Mr Wobbly eating less. Less than a truckload.
These exceptional cases wouldn't apply to normal offices however. Maybe to schools. You'd have the normal kids class, and the fatass kids reserve. Behind two inch steel bars and yards of barricades, scratching, sweating, begging for food. With faces that look almost human. In their own way.
This way, kids would still get a healty, informed idea about the horrors of the world, without being exposed to the risks of interacting with fatties. Like, for instance, getting all covered in disgusting fatty goop. Or picking on them and getting in trouble.
Come to think about it, we should also have one caged lardass in every supermarket.
"Mommy, buy me some candy, mommy, please, candy, mommy, please ?"
"You want to end up looking like that ?"
"Mommy, broccoli, please, a carrot stick, can I have a carrot stick mommy, please, mommy ?"
And we must get the sexy ad warnings. After every candy bar commercial, there must be a 5 minute disclaimer. "This thing is not food, makes you fat ugly and acneic, it's why you can't date and will make your penis spontaneously sugar-frost and fall off. Which is how they made the candybar in the first place."
MacDonalds would be forced to change all their product wrappings to accomodate the new mandatory labelling :
But they wouldn't be the only one, every shit food joint in the country will be expected to surrender 90% of the wrap space to public service announcements like above.
And let's not forget taxation. From now on, we should have a 5$ fixed excise per item and 75% to retail value punitive taxation on everything sold, from lard bags to horse hooves, from I-can't-belive-it's-not-margerine fake oil to I-can't-belive-they're-made-out-of-recicled-toilet-paper fries. The average Jack in a Box menu should cost 95,55, of which 79,99 go to the Health Department to help pay for pacemakers and prosthetic hips and dialysis and liposuction and whatever else these people get for free currently.
Fact of the matter is, the obese cost every normal person about 10k a year. Are you willing to spend 10k a year so someone else can be as fat as they want ? I think it's time for them to put they're money where their mouth is.
I've heard it to death, "uh oh, I can't lose weight, there's nothing I can do". O really ? Let's see if you still feel that way when you start having to pay for it. Otherwise, sure, you spend 10 bucks per pound to get shit in your body and we spend 100 dollars per pound to get it back out. No more.
You want to be overweight, you get no health insurance. First, get in shape. Then come whining that you're sick. Paying health benefits to the fat is like paying death insurance to the suicidal. It's even worse, it's not like paying the suicidal per success, it's like paying them per attempt.
14
fat asses read this and cried.
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copyright 2006 by Zenofeller
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this page was made using a
bent spoon. anything else is for failures
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