Condoleezza Rice is a Weasel.

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Condoleezza Rice is a Weasel.

That is not an opinion or a political satire. It is a fact. You may well think she is just another Alabama born almost white black woman (or almost black white woman, depending what benefit she's speaking at). You may well think she was produced by means of mr Rice filling the respective hole of ms Rice with a white goo-like matter, roughly 55 to 60 years ago. You may think she started life in either a left or a right, but at any rate human ovary, and you may well think at some point in her existance on your planet, she looked like this

Or this

Or maybe this

On second thought that's a bit misleading, she's not a herbivore at any rate. She might eat dirty presidential laundry now and again, but blessedly you need an erection to soil laundry, so she mostly gets away much cheaper. In her own words : “One of the responsibilities of any administration official is to insulate the President from harm on any issue.” You go, girl ! Does that include lieing for the president ? Hmm... “In an attempt to blunt critics who say that the Bush administration has been less than fully cooperative with the commission investigating the administration's response to terrorism prior to 9/11, the White House eventually agreed to allow security advisor Condoleezza Rice available to answer more questions. However, her return appearance is subject to two stipulations: she will only answer questions in private, and she will not answer questions under oath.” Essentially it seems she is still just a fiancee, might lie but won't perjure herself.
Oh, come to think about it, was the woman married ? Well, she never was, but sometimes she loses sight of the matter, as for instance at a dinner party hosted by New York Times D.C. bureau chief Philip Taubman and his wife, Times reporter Felicity Barringer, and attended by New York Times publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr., Maureen Dowd, Steven Weisman, and Elisabeth Bumiller, where she was reported by Newsweek (on the 3rd may 2003) to have said "As I was telling my husb ... As I was telling President Bush."
To clarify for you silly people out there, these are not actual photos of what the joyous event looked like :

We can easily tell that the picture on the left is not right, she might be colored but she is not purple. The one on the right might be actual footage, except for scattered reports here and there that the mother has in fact survived... which looks somewhat unlikely in our picture. But then again, one never knows.

Well, none of the above. Ms. Rice is a weasel.

She does not have an impressive intellect, nor does she have impressive accademical credential (well, that is to say, they may well be impressive for a black woman born in Alabama, but they are not in any general sense of the term). Most of her accreditation is just a shadow above the sort of stuff you get spammed about all the time, you know, get a degree without going to school, based on your “life experience”. And the fact she started getting some academic recognition after proving her loyalty and playfulness as a Bush house pet will impress nobody, outside of a number of political weasels.

I could go at lengths about all the times she lied, in the media, on the floor of the congress, in private and in bed. No need for that, the evidence is ample, piled everywhere around, you can find it for yourself. If you can't find it for yourself, you are obviously too intellectually limited to be worth my time spoonfeeding it to you. Suffice it to say the woman has about as much moral fiber as a MacDonald's hamburger (and well all know how much fiber those have) and will do anything for the boss, the promotion and the raise. Which is why she would be an excellent presidential candidate in the next election, after all somebody has to stand up to ms Clinton. Whom, oddly enough, has the same sort of delusions about being married to the president in function (although he seemed at the time to not have noticed) has lied in the media and on the congress floor, and will, reasonably, do anything for the same good old payoffs.

Come to think of it, it would be great to see a woman with some spinal bone run for something sometime. Do try, you even get an intergalactic space cookie if you manage it. Seriously. Doesnt even have to be soon, offer stands for the next ten millenia.

I hereby bless America, although unfortunately it really looks too far gone at this point.

17 protest the unflattering simile.

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this page was made using a bent spoon. anything else is for failures