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Following is a collection of methods and strategies that can be used by three broad
categories of people, to obtain three broad categories of results.
a. average joes can read it and go ewww. b. psychopaths of all sorts can read it and learn how to maximise their misdeeds while minimizing legal exposure arising thereof. c. law enforcement officers can read it and go omg wtf bbq. Part I - Getting ready. I'm convinced there's a few readers who are itching to get to the action already and pondering how much do they need to skip. Let's make life easy for them. Rape isn't a light commitment. Consider the lifetime of things. A hamburger has a lifetime of about an hour. You decide you want one, you go to the place that sells them, order, eat. That's that. If you don't like it, you only have to put up with it for an hour tops. It doesn't pay to think an hour about a hamburger. It's not worth the time. That's why other people in line get fidgety if you take an hour thinking through your order. A car is different. You're stuck with a car for a few years. Marriage is almost as bad as a car. Going to college is worse than both, combined. You commit to four years, and then to enough debt for ten more. Rape is slightly worse than marriage, but not quite as bad as college, which explains why it's surging in popularity. The other main reason rape is becoming a more and more popular pass time is the fact it doesn't take money. It takes time, determination, discipline, perseverance, all of them personal traits, those personal traits that made America great. But not money. That's a great advantage, seeing how rising unemployment and booming public debt leave less and less money available for private ventures and more and more time on people's hands. The important point, however, is that rape is a serious commitment in time. You may think, no it's not, and up and rape somebody. You will be going to jail, for a number of years. That's a while, innit ? So, rape, much like cell phone subscriptions, comes in two flavours. Pay as you go, which in some states will put you in for life on the third payment, and contract based. You get a better deal with contracts. Practically, from a resources viewpoint, rape consists of two intervals and one moment. The first interval, the pre-rape, is made of planning and decision making that will essentially shape the next two. Then, the rape itself, after which, the post-rape. A common myth surrounding rape is that post-rape is roughly equivalent with jail time. History proves this to be squarely untrue. Take Marc Dutroux. Arrested in 1986 for abducting and raping 5 young girls, he's convicted in 1989. Thirteen years, but released in 1992 for good behaviour. He wasn't in jail for most of the 86-89 interval, and really, of the 6 years of post-rape, he only spent about half in jail. Fine, that's Belgium. Belgium doesn't count. In 1995, Roy Whiting abducted and sexually assaulted an eight-year-old girl. Within a few months, he confessed, and was convicted to 4 years, of which he served two. In 2000 he was being questioned about another missing girl, and in 2001 formally charged. This is a good example because it lets us see the pre and post rape phases very clearly. This man spent about 2 years in jail for his previous rape, then another 3 planning the next one. This is, as far as rape goes, the golden measure. If you take about as much time planning as you serve in jail, you can say you're a professional rapist. Not quite a master rapist (who never goes to jail), but certainly not a wet behind the ears lacrosse player. Basically, the quality of a rapist can be defined not by the number of victims, as the media seems to think, nor by the amount of blood and internal organs stored in plastic bags throughout the apartment. The quality of a rapist is defined by the ratio of time spent in the pre-rape phase to time spent in the post-rape phase. As a minor point, anyone can be a pretty good rapist. Just sit in the pre-rape phase indefinitely. Anything divided by 0 is pretty fucking huge. Of course, all your buddies at the bar will say this strategy means you aren't "really" a rapist. Think about it this way : there's no bar buddies in prison. So, the purpose of this handbook is to teach you to shave time off the post-rape phase, even if it sometimes adds a cost to the pre-rape. It's usually cents to the dollar. Part II - Picking a victim. First off, are you sure you want an actual victim ? Plenty of women fantasize about being raped, in fact it would seem it's something like one in three, as much as that notion tends to choke feminists. Sadly, odds are that any one girl you're looking at is among the other two. It's how statistics work. Even so, it may well pay to join a BDSM group of some flavour. They have online communities, they're terribly friendly to newbies, incredibly sanctimonious, about as fad driven as a schoolbus' worth of cheerleaders and really really available. If you're the kind of psycho that can fake normal, you're bound to have fun. Even if nothing comes of it, you will have valuable opportunities to learn useful skills, like whip cracking, rope ties, and nifty new concepts, like sub-space and behavioural modification. If you're more in the Norman Bates tradition of lunacy however, don't go anywhere near them, they will push you over the edge. Still, the Internet may be able to save you. Anything from a simple announcement ("Norman Bates type of psycho seeks submissive female for rape, torture and eventual dismemberment. 1024, Wichita Dr. Knock twice. No murdering on the first date, bring your own towel") to trolling chat rooms (especially those themed around suicide, depression and weight loss). But suppose you're not in the market for any of that sissy shit, and you want genuine tears, whimpers and terror. You will have to pick a victim. This is accomplished in two steps. First, you do a loose check on as many prospects as you can, ideally on everyone you ever set eyes on. In this phase, you do not want to ascertain anything positively, just quickly filter unlikely or difficult marks, and be left with a bunch good ones you can further pursue. It shouldn't take more than five seconds per person. Then, you go through the list of good ones and examine the matters in more depth. The key issues are A. Is the person in good physical shape and able to put up a fight? Are they heavy ? This is the main reason rapists prefer children. While some people are genuinely attracted sexually to children, they are not as a rule rapists, but more often chronic masturbators and bedwetter types. However, children make great rape victims, because they are usually lightweight, not in terribly good shape, and more importantly, they are so used with being abused by adults on a daily basis in so many ways, they're less likely to realise sexual abuse is not exactly standard fare. In fact, in between having to go to school, which abjectly sucks, for no good reason, having to clean their room, which they didn't mess up, for no good reason, and having to keep their feet out of the porridge, for absolutely no good reason, various things are likely to slide un noticed. What's the difference, you would say, between having to finish the spinach, and having to take it all the way in ? And are you sure you'd rather have the spinach ? This is also why many rapists prefer women. Women are sort of in between actual human beings and children in many ways. They're not as lightweight as children, but as a rule not too heavy either. They aren't quite as impressionable as children, but as a rule not far off. And God told them to be quiet and swallow, so. B. Is the person outgoing and lively or shy and withdrawn ? There are many countless reasons why the shy are preferable. They have fewer friends and thus, there's not likely going to be any sort of disruption. It is never pleasant to have to explain to some drunken idiots that you're the carpet cleaner, you have to take this carpet down to the shop at 3 in the morning on a Saturday and while you do know the host, you've never met them and he's not in the house, which, given that he seems to not be out drinking with them either, leaves him precious places to be, outside of rolled up in a rug somewhere. It's less likely anybody told them that God did not in fact specifically say that they have to sexually submit to anyone knowing the secret universal password. It's less likely they can call anyone to verify. And the entire password angle is probably going to sound very appealing in and by itself. C. Is the person educated ? Educated people make the best rape victims, and the more educated the better, again for many countless reasons. The more time they spent studying, the less time they spent hanging out, partying and having sex. Therefore they may well be thankful for anything they get. Educated people are less likely to own guns, and paradoxically more inclined to think rape can't happen to them. They also seem to think confrontation is never an adequate reaction to crisis, which is, quite frankly, fine by us. And they are usually Democrats, which should suffice by itself. This is why so many rapists go after students. They offer the benefits of education and homelessness in one sweet, luscious package, loosely held together by a tank top. That last sentence also contains the reason why so many people are prosecuted and successfully convicted for raping students. All students are sexually attractive, seeing how they have to pass exams to become students in the first place. D. Was the person raped before ? Rape victims make the best rape victims. Much like what boring people call "normal" sex, rape is an acquired taste. Obviously, a good chunk (some authors claim a good third) of womanhood fantasizes about being raped. This bears a striking resemblance to the proportion of girls that spend their puberty fantasizing about having sex (which, again, some authors quote at one third). However, even women that never thought about it could learn to enjoy it. Or at least get through their thick skulls what they're here for. There is a certain resistance to be overcome, especially in this later group, again much akin to the phase young teenagers go through (Ewwww ! Yuck ! That's gross !). It is however just a phase in the normal development of the female psyche (such as it is) and, with gentle but firm guidance, it should be over by the end of the first year or the third or so gang rape party, whichever comes first. In passing, let us mention that many rapists find it useful to keep lists of rape victims, including address, means to enter, daily routine, ovulation calendar and other convenient bits and ends such as, does the victim keep drinkable beer in the fridge ? Will lubricant likely be needed ? Is there a boyfriend likely to help along ? The obvious risk being that such material could in principle be found by the cops, which is why more experienced rapists will keep everything under a doughnut platter. Also, there is a certain tendency to swap this information in what constitutes a new and encouraging trend we could maybe call rape swinging. We will go into a lot more detail about the risks associated with these practices, their benefits and an assortment of tips later on. E. Is the person sexually attractive ? This may sound perplexing, but in fact you should never rape sexually attractive people if you can help it. Beginners are often caught in this trap. They notice that some groups of people are disconsidered and not in fact afforded legal protection. They mistakenly identify these groups as the homeless, prostitutes and such. This mistake is easily excused by their lack of experience. The only thing that matters is if the person is attractive. We've seen the scenario play itself out too many times, kids see prostitutes being raped by older, more experienced rapists who are nonetheless always careful to pick the ugly ones. The kids misunderstand the criteria, thinking it's prostitutes being raped, when in fact it's ugly women. They then decide to try their hand, spend weeks finding the perkiest, youngest, sexyest prostitute in the county and proceed to rape her. The district attorney then forcibly washes and dresses the girl, so that the inevitable jury can't tell the difference between the victim and their own children, and sentence years rain from the bench. The moral is simple. Stick to raping ugly people and nobody will care. In fact, many will think you did them a favor. Once you have a short list of maybe a dozen people that adequately pass the above inquiries, you may proceed to the next part. 8 people care. |