People on Welfare.

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People on Welfare.

Everybody with a job goes to work every day, then comes home and writes a check to the government. That keeps food in the president's mouth and gas in the police trooper , notwithstanding said trooper would be a lot more presentable with less gas. There is one exception to this golden rule. People on welfare. They don't go home from work and write a check to the government, instead the government writes them a check to stay home.

So, not only do they get to not go to work, but on top of that, they get paid for it. What sense does that make ? Well, it could be argued that they are such retarded monkeys that by just staying out of everyone's way they are doing society as a whole a favor, that is worth more than 500 a month or whatever they get in welfare. After all, having someone putting metal pans in the microwave and copier paper in the fax could reasonably cost any business more than 500 a month. Not to mention that given the prodigal inventiveness of idiots, they wouldn't stop there, actually, they would probably not stop.

That is all fair and dandy, but somehow these idiots got the idea they have rights. The most hilarious notion ever. It's like your fifteen year old who thinks he has a right to scratch your new car, puke on your carpet and ravage your fridge just cause his mother won't swallow. Ludicrous. It's like the cat thinking it owns your sofa. Let's go over things one at a time.

1. They think they have a right to give opinions. Why would anyone think some dumbass who is either too lazy or too stupid to keep a job should have any opinion on anything whatsoever ? And even provided they do have an opinion, why should anyone care ?

"Hey listen, I got an idea how you should run your business"
"Really ? Are you doing anything like my business ?"
"No, actually I'm not doing anything at all."
"Get the fuck out."

If you live off public charity, you don't have a right to give your opinion. Actually, you don't have the right to speak if not spoken to. And you must address anyone and everyone as sir, even 15 year olds working at Wendy's. Hey, at least they got a job. Actually, in the grand scheme of things, you are right in there with illegal aliens, petty criminals and bums (ie people who eat stuff they take out of dumpsters).

2. They think they have a right to go to bars, clubs, social events, and in general partake in leisure activities. Well, they don't and they shouldn't. Nobody on welfare has a right to sit down in a bar, or to order a drink. They don't have a right to even enter a club. Heck, they may not even sit down to eat their order at the local diner, unless the place has at least a few extra empty seats. Eat standing or get off the government payroll !

And then there's this odd notion they are allowed to seek the opposite sex. They aren't. For any practical purposes, as long as Uncle Sam pays for your food, you are castrated. You are a cross between a frigid bitch and an impotent doofus. And you can forget about any bragging rights whatsoever. Just think your are this kid that got all F's in every single subject an entire semester. You are grounded. You may eat breadcrumbs and drink water and that's about it. Either fix your averages or learn to like it.

3. Through some monstrous oversight of the founding fathers they have the right to vote (as nobody ever imagined people living on welfare back then). What sense does that make ? What will someone on welfare reasonably vote for other than more welfare ? What would be their area of expertise ? What real life experience can they relate to ? What do they have to contribute ? How to get America dependent on middle eastern financial aid ?

People who live off the government should have no call whatsoever when it comes to the working of that government, because otherwise the point of equilibrium is a large chunk of bums who keep a government in power just so it keeps them on welfare, and things will flow towards that point of equilibrium (which is pretty much where America is headed).

People who cash welfare checks are not shot only because it's too expensive to procure the bullets and nobody wants to be bothered with it. They are not in prison because they don't deserve central heating and cable TV. They are simply not cool enough for such things. They belong squatting, out in a dusty field somewhere. They belong with the Amish.

The welfare office should not have 6 foot ceilings. It should have 3 foot ceilings. There should be this normal office building where the employees enter, sit down at a desk, and then 3 foot tall tunnels leading from the opposite side to right under the desk. We could have special uniforms for the welfare officers, something like a Scottish kilt. At least that way the applicants would learn a practical skill, and some money could maybe be saved towards salaries. They would call it the Welfare Hookshop.

9 Katrina victims are still waiting for some sort of assistance.

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this page was made using a bent spoon. anything else is for failures