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Update 15.06.2007 : I've been interviewed. I normally don't answer interview requests, but Gene's a pretty cool guy.
Update 10.06.2007 : So they've figured out their shit, and hand-edited me out of the top 1k. Lol. Mkay boys. Till the next time I feel like fucking your shit up. Update 5.06.2007 : Technorati is down. All the way. Mission accomplished. Update 1.06.2007 : The magic has been deployed. Watch that "authority" heh. Update 31.05.2007 : The top three countries in the world, ranked by a criteria that really matters : How much they like zenofeller.com :
Update 31.05.2007 : The otherwise useless idiots over at technorati are now measuring blogs "authority" of all things. The cheek. I'm starting a little project to fix them. Will take a day or so of hacking, after which I'm curios who's going to have the most "authority". Heh. Update 30.05.2007 : The ongoing Carnival research. Update 24.05.2007 : It's still as difficult to get sued as ever. It's been about two years I've been trying now, and still no dice. This last attempt procured nothing more than a bunch of emails filled with drama, e-law and foot stomping, but nothing else. I guess the guru.com trademark isn't actually being defended, so, if anybody wants it... Unrelatedly, I've decided to add those vapid widget things for quick submission to popularity directories. Click away. Update 16.05.2007 : The coven of scammers and con artists running guru.com got slightly bruised today. We are eagerly awaiting the respective cease and dessist maculature. Update 06.02.2007 :Done a bit of graphic re-designing, also changed the way articles are presented. The front page will carry a selection of articles (2005-2007). The "current" page will carry this year's articles as they come out. Update 29.01.2007 :Did you know the name of the President of Asus is Ivan Ho ? Or is that only funny to European types. Update 18.01.2007 : You know the Andrews Sisters ? The Ferryboat Serenade ? So, when's the last time you heard a girl sing that she's happy ? Very, very happy. So I guess it's news material after all. Update 14.01.2007 : Pretty bad traffic spikes for the past day made access a bit sluggish and some connections were even dropped. Improved load balancing and did some shoring on the mysql server, so everything should run fine next time the horde of you shows up. Update 09.01.2007 : Zenofeller.com owns the phrase "you dont get to cum" on the Internets. As well as said Internets. Update 16.12.2006 : Sorry for the recent outage. A previously sane and dependable host went absolutely and completely bonkers, putting zenofeller.com offline for the past day. More detailed account as soon as I fix everything. I have switched to a new host, working at bringing everything back online. Things may behave eratically for a day or two. The one thing you can help with, is if you notice any corrupted files, especially .jpg/.gif drop me a line. Thanks. Update 09.11.2006 : More importantly, Asylum, the great contemporary novel is has been shipping for about a week. Our operators are standing by to take your orders. Update 08.11.2006 : The borderline intelligent and incredibly bored female (hey that's rare) troll that used to keep Pygmalion's Wife's Journal, if you remember that, is back with a vengeance. Her current attempt, called Violent Acres for whatever reason, while still the unreadable copy chicks tend to write, has at least the distinction of giving the finger to that elite group of retards blogging about their offspring. You know, the dounce and all. Allow me to join the distinguished if otherwise unemployed English major in her oppinion : Your kids eat shit. Like, totally. Update 25.09.2006 : Asylum, the great contemporary novel is now available for pre-order. Check out the website. Update 15.08.2006 : Zenopedia Hilaris is up. Enjoy. Plenty more articles to be uploaded in the following days, as well as making an actual skin for the thing. White wtf is that. Update 10.08.2006 : Pirates suck, the definitve proof. Update 23.07.2006 : I just made an extra special super duper page for kids, completely Child Protection and Safety Act compliant. Link to it and help make the Internet an US Congress free place. Update 15.07.2006 : We had a cursing competition in Hell today. Henry Miller lost. Update 9.07.2006 : Seeing the difficulty various idiots seem to be having hacking this peacible and cute and fluffy website, I have drawn a Rube diagram to help them out. The entire thing is laid bare and fully explained. The monitor is a debug point, NO translates roughly to 401/403/406/412/fuck off. Update 7.07.2006 : A most unfortunate event occured. It would seem that the java snippet found on each and every page on this site and used by normal people for about a year now, with no complaints, has managed to irk the fearsome #barntown commune. They were bombed by it, laughed at, heck, it even came out through the monitor and spit in their general direction. Normally, it's a good little script, it behaves itself and does inocuous things like make the five buttons in the header turn orange when you move the mouse over them. Which is how it got it's name, function rollover(), or rolly as we like to call it here at zenofeller.com. It's really obsolete, only works on like the main page and a few old articles, but I could never be bothered to take it out of the template. That I'd have to explain this is funny in and by itself, but what's better, I think I just won about ten million Internet dollars. Yay for me. I think I'll stick with my ten million US dollars instead, but thanks boys. However, I wish to extend my sincerest apologies for the unexpected and completely exceptional behaviour of rolly. I don't know what got into it, and I have no idea how something can work one way for an entire year and then suddenly turn feral. It may be that much like everything else here at zenofeller.com, it has a low tolerance for stupidity. I fail to see how anything other than exposure to massive amounts stupid could have turned it rabid. The moral of the story being that I'm better than the entire Open Source community, seeing how this site still stands. Then again, we knew that, didn't we. Update 6.07.2006 : Some relatively incompetent script kiddies decided they want a piece of me. They did manage to crash the patently braindamaged MediaWiki engine, which was an out of the box install. I've sandboxed it for now, until I have the time to fix the maladroit pile of shit VIBBER, Starling, Gwicke, Eloquence and Manske call code. Since I'm lazy, it's probably going to be a few days. Other than overloading and crashing that server yesterday, there's not much to say for the shambling attempts. They did amuse my ISP by claiming this is illegal content. They did create 1500 new accounts on my forum, for which good deed I wish to take this opportunity to thank them. It certainly looks better with more users. Apparently handmade spamming gets boring after the 20th or so post, and to automate the task you'd need like brains and other such rare things, so there's not much spam to talk of. They did download files over and over again, which doesn't count against unlimited bandwidth (tm), it only pads the stats, so I don't mind. They have been duly served about a half million 404's for idiotic requests such as "GET /manual/ru/mod/mod_expires.html.old HTTP/1.1" "GET /manual/ru/mod/mod_expires.html.-old HTTP/1.1" "GET /manual/ru/mod/mod_expires.html.orig HTTP/1.1" "GET /manual/fr/vhosts/index.html.old HTTP/1.1" and so forth. Unless being a clown secretly got added to the hacker job description, all that doesn't cut it. Sorry boys. You fail. But maybe in time, your intelects may develop. I'm sure the best is yet to come. There's simply no way it could get worse, after all. Also, here's a little something a reader contributed. Update 2.07.2006 : The ISP that hosts this server IP-banned my home box. Apparently, I have been doing "suspicious things" to my own server. They thought it was a burgular, oh my ! In fact, I was just hacking a new wiki, I call it Zenopedia Hilaris. Check it out. Update 1.07.2006 : From: "kerry boyle" [x_van_tango_x@hotmail.com]I imagine he means this old thing. Glad to help. If you think this is inapropriate : I gave the guy two weeks to pull it off, so if he's still alive to bitch about it, he's a dumbass and deserves all he gets. And if he's not bitching about it, neither should you. Sadly, someone called kerry boyle that signs alison and admits it's a waste of time... Well. Let's just say I have my suspicions. Unless anyone knows of an Alison/Kerry that bought the farm recently in or around Queensland. Update 9.06.2006 : It seems to me this site needed a welcome page. Now it has one, here Update 2.06.2006 : It seems simply impossible to get in trouble already. First there were the articles heckling Scientology, arguably the most litigious group on the planet. No dice. Then the articles heckling MPAA, arguably just as much a disgrace as Scientology, from fraud to deception and back. Still no dice. Tried my luck with games, tried my luck with films. No dice. There seems to be nothing left, really. Anyone got any ideas ? Update 14.05.2006 : Well thanks a lot folks, you managed to overflow my puny counter script. When I wrote it 3 months ago I never imagined I'd be getting 60k hits an hour any time soon. Working to get it fixed, gonna reseed it based on log data. On the bright side, everything else held. Thanks for playing. Update 13.05.2006 - To whomever it may concern : You are a fucking idiot. Do not imagine you are a hacker. You are not. You are not even a cracker in fact, nor competent. I am getting sick of idiots sending requests to my beloved Apache on the lines of /cgi-bin/awstats/awstats.pl?configdir=|echo;echo YYY;cd /tmp bla bla I don't run that piece of shit. Nor do I run formmail. It sucks. Even if I was running it, that wouldn't mean you could run it too, especially not on my server. MY server. Remeber that. You are not invited to the party. I considered putting up a special page where idiots like these could be redirected, but I decided against it. Instead, let me tell them right here. I am not running Msoffice, nor Bsoffice, nor whatever they call it. Especially not on a linux box you dumb fuck. Do you have any idea how many unique visitors, hit me with some idiotic request along the lines of /MSOffice/cltreq.asp?UL=1&ACT=4& bla bla every given week ? Do you ? 182 this week. And it's fucking Saturday. And I'm counting distinct IP's, not just hits. Got over 6000 of those. Why the fuck ? What do you expect to happen ? I can almost picture it, in their script kiddie wet dreams, they use a MS vulnerability to root a nix box and then fail to do anything with it because they can't figure the difference between a proper slash and a microsoft slash of impending doom. Get the fuck out. So to conclude, I would very much appreciate it if you practiced your all thumbs two left hands somewhere else. Buy an old 486, shoot whichever linux flavour on it, install Apache and then flood your own damned server with whatever stupid requests you feel the need to, so it can point at you and laugh. Oh, what's that ? Figuring out how to install all the shit is too difficult ? Well then. How the fuck do you expect to crack through it ?! Dumbass. Update 12.05.2006 : Book Description On August 17 in 1969, packing winds over 200 miles per hour, Hurricane Camille caught a country by surprise and until recently, was the worst storm to ever hit the United States. Roar of the Heavens is the destructive hour-by-hour story, told by the survivors and key players of a meteorological event that tested the theoretical limits of what weather can do. A Perfect Storm meets Into Thin Air, Roar of the Heavens focuses heavily on the human element- the unfortunate victims of the devastating storm-and how some of them survived while many around them did not. Roar of the Heavens is also a cautionary tale - that the United States is just as vulnerable to hurricanes today as ever before. About the Author Tucker Max received his B.A. from the University of Chicago, where he graduated in 1998. He attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he graduated with a J.D. in 2001 (despite the fact that he neglected to buy any of his textbooks for his final two years and spent part of one semester—while still enrolled in classes—living in Cancun). Tucker is purportedly the reason Duke dropped from 7 to 11 in the USN&WR rankings during his tenure. He currently lives in Chicago, and when he isn't drinking or fornicating, he writes for his website, TuckerMax.com. Here's an excellent example why people are advised not to sign with vanity publishers. They mess up. They mess up again. They mess up some more. In this particular case, they uploaded the description of the wrong book, and since they were going to do that, no place is better than Amazon (scroll down). While it's more than probable that anyone ordering Tucker's book will be shipped a random item selected from the garage of the "Publisher", people should remain calm. You are better off with the random item. Update 30.04.2006 : Battleships! Update 22.04.2006 : Celebrating today the 10th Terrabyte served by zenofeller.com. Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper, I'm not affraid... Update 16.04.2006 : The same two routers have been down, or struggling in the 90% packet loss range for no less than 777,600,000 milliseconds now. Since there exist no words for their sysop's incompetence, I propose a new standard be introduced for the TCP/IP protocol, namely the Texas response. Any packet originated from core-router.centramedia.net or core-c7fe00.aspware.net is to be answered by default with an end-of-transmission packet carrying the payload : 20 20 41 43 48 54 55 4E 47 21 20 20 41 4C 4C 45 53 20 4C 4F 4F 4B 45 4E 53 50 45 45 50 45 52 53 21 0D 0A 0D 0A 41 6C 6C 65 73 20 74 6F 75 72 69 73 74 65 6E 20 75 6E 64 20 6E 6F 6E 2D 74 65 63 68 6E 69 73 63 68 65 6E 20 6C 6F 6F 6B 65 6E 20 70 65 65 70 65 72 73 21 0D 0A 44 61 73 20 63 6F 6D 70 75 74 65 72 6D 61 63 68 69 6E 65 20 69 73 74 20 6E 69 63 68 74 20 66 75 65 72 20 67 65 66 69 6E 67 65 72 70 6F 6B 65 6E 20 75 6E 64 20 6D 69 74 74 65 6E 67 72 61 62 62 65 6E 2E 0D 0A 49 73 74 20 65 61 73 79 20 73 63 68 6E 61 70 70 65 6E 20 64 65 72 20 73 70 72 69 6E 67 65 6E 77 65 72 6B 2C 20 62 6C 6F 77 65 6E 66 75 73 65 6E 20 75 6E 64 20 70 6F 70 70 65 6E 63 6F 72 6B 65 6E 0D 0A 6D 69 74 20 73 70 69 74 7A 65 6E 73 70 61 72 6B 65 6E 2E 20 20 49 73 74 20 6E 69 63 68 74 20 66 75 65 72 20 67 65 77 65 72 6B 65 6E 20 62 65 69 20 64 61 73 20 64 75 6D 70 6B 6F 70 66 65 6E 2E 0D 0A 44 61 73 20 72 75 62 62 65 72 6E 65 63 6B 65 6E 20 73 69 63 68 74 73 65 65 72 65 6E 20 6B 65 65 70 65 6E 20 64 61 73 20 63 6F 74 74 65 6E 2D 70 69 63 6B 65 6E 65 6E 20 68 61 6E 73 20 69 6E 20 64 61 73 0D 0A 70 6F 63 6B 65 74 73 20 6D 75 73 73 3B 20 72 65 6C 61 78 65 6E 20 75 6E 64 20 77 61 74 63 68 65 6E 20 64 61 73 20 62 6C 69 6E 6B 65 6E 6C 69 63 68 74 65 6E 2E 00 Don't have your decoder ring handy ? Fine. ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Alles touristen und non-technischen looken peepers! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten. Update 10.04.2006 : For 4 days now, half the core routers in Texas have been down. It seems those cow dung smoking idiots have no intention of fixing their routers, and further, a bit of research shows they make it a habit of being down a few solid days to a few solid weeks every year. Here's the internet traffic reports for core-router.centramedia.net and core-c7fe00.aspware.net preserved for future reference, may they be anally raped by rabid donkeys. Update 3.03.2006 : Apparently book trade news is all the news you get. Quoth Macmillan : Here is the new clause 2.5, now active on our website: 2.5 You waive your moral rights in relation to anything (excluding manuscripts) that you submit to us for inclusion on this website. I hope you will respect our wish to clear up this apparent misunderstanding and will publish this response. Indeed, that is the new 2.5 clause on the respective website, and it reads a lot better. Thank the Internet. And since we're discussing the matter, here's what Philip Greenspun has to say about Macmillan and publishing. Update 24.02.2006 : We have received the following email from Macmillan : From: "Portas, Sophie" [s.portas@macmillan.co.uk] Subject: Macmillan New Writing Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2006 09:01:39 -0000 The website zenofeller.com, which is registered in your name, has published incorrect and defamatory information about a division of the Macmillan publishing group: namely, that the Macmillan New Writing imprint requires authors to waive moral rights in relation to anything submitted and that it is 'spamming' authors to persuade them to submit manuscripts under these terms. The reality is that we do not approach authors directly in any way to solicit manuscripts and rely on unsolicited submissions. These claims are untrue and potentially damaging to our reputation and business. All our author agreements actually confirm the rights of authors to be identified. Would you please withdraw these assertions and publish an apology and this note. To this I wish to say that : 1. I maintain all my previous statements, namely that the Macmillan New Writing imprint requires authors to waive moral rights in relation to anything submitted and that it is spamming authors to persuade them to submit manuscripts under these terms. Proof of the accuracy and truthfulness of these statements is found in the circumstances that, on one hand, the New Writing "imprint" does have a ToS published on it's own website, that does include a section numbered 2.5, that does read 2.5 You waive your moral rights in relation to anything that you submit to us, including your right to be identified as its author. as of today, Fri, 24 Feb 2006 11:30:39 -0700, and on the other that I did receive the respective email. 2. Based on this example, my assessment of Macmillan business practice is that there are few frauds more blatant in the trade, and that is saying a lot, seeing how the general impression most publishers active today leave is little above petty fraud. 3. Further, that Macmillan willingly engages in false or otherwise misleading communication for a commercial benefit, since in the above email they require an apology for assertions that are damaging to their reputation and business, without actually challenging their truthfulness. You will notice that my statement that the imprint requires authors to waive moral rights is not actually challenged. The fact that author agreements confirm or do not confirm the right of authors to be identified is privy to Macmillan and other interested parties alone, and more importantly, is ulterior to the issue being discussed, namely submission to the website. Confirming a waived right after the fact, when and if you please to take an author seriously does nothing to remedy the rights of all the others who have presumably submitted, only to see their work plagiarized or otherwise used without consent. 4. No apology is necessary, unless it is coming from Macmillan. 5. Stay tuned. Update 18.02.2006 : Macmillan has come up with a new "publishing" scam, and is apparently spamming everyone on an extended author list soliciting manuscripts via their new website for new writers. Be very wary of offering anything using this method. Be especially wary of their ToS, specifically section 2.5, which reads 2.5 You waive your moral rights in relation to anything that you submit to us, including your right to be identified as its author. As they themselves say, "Please do not submit any material if you do not agree to the waiver of rights in Condition 2.5.". You have been warned. Update 14.02.2006 : Get the zenofeller.com alexa toolbar so you can get back here in one click or less. Update 10.02.2006 : Just over 30% of all the banners paid for are actually making it on the site. You people need to learn to follow specs. 725x88 precisely, and 16k or less. jpeg or gif. Nothing else. NOTHING ELSE. Someone wants me to put up his half megabyte bitmap. FOR FUCKS SAKE. Update 8.02.2006 : Switched to php, added counters. 1 people care. |