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No Penis is Better than Your Penis.

Unlike some doofus opperating in the delusional belief that his site is somehow good, let alone best, my updates have not been slow lately (by which he means shit spread so thin on the shingle, one turd lasts May to August), but instead come at the same weekly rate they always have.

Irrespective of all that, some of you are still taking the liberty to send me your stupid topics to write about. Even if I suddenly had a lapse in judgement and decided that it would be a good idea to take suggestions for topics from you idiots, I think I would come to my senses as soon as I read the first few. Here's why (Note: these are all real suggestions people have sent me, right down to the grammar and spelling mistakes. If they aren't, then whoever I stole them from is a dirty liar.):

write sumthn bout african americans!!!

First of all, the label "African American" is the dumbest, most persistently used phrase in our vernacular. Every time you call someone an "African American," you're making at least two assumptions about the person:

1. That the person is black. For example, if you went home to your dumpy apartment in some shit hole state that people more successful than you glance at out of their window as they pass over in a private jet on their way home to bang their hot trophy wives and found this guy on the couch, you would probably think :

Omg African American cock lol !!!1!!11oneleleven1!!

And in this particular case, you would be wrong too, because

Which makes you a shrively cock.

2. That the person is an American, which is fine, except for one small detail: this man is not, which makes you a presumptuous cock.

Not to mention that every time you give a black person the distinction of being "African American" out of a mixed group, you're making an assumption about an entire continent; not everyone from Africa is well endowed. I guarantee all you politically correct morons out there have never called a white person an African American, regardless of their respective size, not that you should know their size anyway. Of course you could avoid all these problems by using the same standards on blacks as you would on whites by simply assuming that all whites are from Africa just as you do for all blacks, but that might be too forward, and in a polite society like ours, people would be all too pleased to point out which of the 192 countries you didn't guess they were actually from.

There's more dumbass suggestions our friend claims to have received, served with some more stale sauce of I used to have a rant before the dog ate it, but one of my identical-triplets girlfriends seems to be slowly coming to, so I have to go for a second.

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