Idiocy, it's a lifestyle.

Idiocy, it's a lifestyle.

Probably the best free resource for laughs on the Internet right now is a little website dedicated to BDSM personal ads. It's a place where people into canes and crops, chastity belts (seriously) and unnecessary electroshock therapy (again, seriously) gather together to bask in the support of like minded folk, and mayhap even find someone to play with. "Hey, who wants to lick this exposed electric wire make sure we got the power back on?" sort of thing.

Selected for your delight, find bellow a few profiles people have posted to this website.

1. The stereotypical goth teen. Confused, angsty and sitting on a vast supply of eye liner.

JadeRoze Female Dominant, 19, Indiana

Hey... I'm back, different outlook, new name... And really... I'm not much for caring what you think if you're some self-important numbskull. So, kids... be smart and respectful or stay away. One last thing... I'm not looking for males.

2. Next, the stereotypical soccer mom. Heavy hips firmly grasping play pretend Harley, picket fences, sweet suburbia. Wants the dark side of the Moon, has sooo much to offer in return, namely as described above. Go Mom !

demistress Female Dominant, 28, Bear, Delaware

Also looking for playmates.... requirements for playmates are as follows: young, cute, intelligent, fun to be around, NOT needy, no drama...

Also open to finding that special partner to play with for now and for long term. This person must be all I expect in a playmate and soooo much more. I have alot to offer, and expect alot in return.

3. The New Age Exotic mish-mash perks it's many hydra heads next. Enlightened from behind, mammaries in touch with nature, culturally aware hairstyle, faded tattoos and oh my god did I mention the breast disfiguration surgery ?

godessnoir Female Dominant, 32, Atlanta, Georgia

I am a naturally dominant woman who has been this way as long as she can remember. ...enjoys many aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. however the head space, mind trips, and power exchange are the icing on the cake for me.

4. The downright insane are next. What the fuck is that thing in the trash bin ? Master Yoda's sword ? Cool. Is the woman (?) holding a copper dildo ? More importantly, where are the wings ?

SadsticAngelAria Female Dominant, 20, Charlotte, North Carolina

I can sometimes be very strict on taste but I need someone to challenge my firery hot temper and passion. I am also a "furry" with Avian tendencies. *chirps*

5. Nothing like freshly shaved arm pits, wouldn't you say ? No wonder she doesn't get any, not even strap on. You understand why. Understand !!!!

LadySinjin Female Dominant, 31, Spring N.Houston, Texas

Who is looking for that extra kick in life? I would like to meet someone who is in Tx. I'm looking for sub/slaves . I'm looking for a male submissive. I do not have sex and no strap on play will be happening . When you send me a message, tell me what are are looking for and something about yourself.Thanks for a writing will get back to you as soon as possible !One liners will be not be tolerated! Next time I get one you will be Blocked. So if you do not hear back from me you know why. NO WARNINGS!!!!! Understand!!!!!

6. The cam whore. Bad crop, funny angle, post processed to hell and back, but hey, at least she got lips. Or something on her lips. Fresh roadkill ?

MadameBailey Female Dominant, 22, Chicago, Illinois

This site is full of obese 'Dommes' and 'Subs' that want to get off. Here's a tip for you all:

To the fat Domme's try using some of that tribute and open up a gym membership @ Bally's

To the loser Subs try using some of that tribute you are giving away and invest in some nice lube and a blow up doll.

Now, can someone give ME a tribute for that brilliant advice?

7. Let's check out the men for a moment. This dude is confused. Asking for equal partners on a site dedicated to power exchange of all things is really like going to an aryan nation convention and telling everone how funny Pryor is.

mikecloud92024 Male Dominant, 56, Placerville, Ca, California

I am single in search of a good woman who wishes to reach me halfway. I am looking for an equal partner.

8. All caps. Look, he's got an abdomen. Shocking, isn't it. That abdomen is currently developing a belly. How utterly non-trivial. What else could possibly develop ? A mole ?

UNDRMYGUNZ Male Dominant, 39, Williamstown, New Jersey

I AM A NATURALLY DOMINANT MALE SEARCHING FOR A DEDICATED AND DESERVING WOMAN FOR POSSIBLE LONG TERM SERVICE. A WOMAN DESIRING A DADDY/DOM TO GIVE HER WHAT SHE NEEDS. I AM FAIR AND CARING AND ENJOY MANY OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES. BUT LOVE TO DELVE DEEP INTO A GOOD GIRLS MIND AND LEARN WHAT MAKES HER TICK. IF YOU THINK THIS SOUNDS APPEALING AND WOULD BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING MORE ABOUT ME. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WRITE. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND SEE WHAT MAY DEVELOP.

9. The frog man. How does that work, at least 10 years experience ? Is the figure the result of a negotiation ? At least 100 years ago he started this whole thing ? Then again, being opiated would certainly explain it. Along with many other things. Like the Total Recall problem. And the grammar problem. It's not the brain, it's the opiates.

pride22 Male Dominant, 39, Newport news, Virginia

i am looking for a slave. i can train. contact me to make your dreams come true. I have at least 10 years experience r/t and online

my profile may not say much, thats because this is just a start. i find one on one question and answerers are much more accurate

also so many people seem to not like one line messages i use them because you cant know someone from a profile you have to ask them in person,phone or IM(just my opinion) by the way i am opinated not always right but open minded.

if i contact someone more then once i am sorry its just you never know were the diamond is and if your profile has my interest i may not recall that i emailed before

also there seems to be a lot of people who think they know what a slave and i am sure they do know what it means to them. i like the word slave better but a lot of cases my so called slaves in the past have been closer to subs(just don't put to much stock in words actions speak louder)

one last thing don't mistake my poor grammar for not having brains or common sense

10. Nubian Queen. Black Female. Seriously. Doesn't have another pic, ran out of Hershey's.

HBGNUBIANQUEEN Female Dominant, 27, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Black female Domme iso a submissive/slave young (younger than 35) white male (ONLY). I am not attracted to switch or doms so please do not reply if u fit that description. Looking for non-smoker, Not Married, height/weight porportional, D&D free, STD free (will need proof), LIVE WITHIN AN HOUR away. An hour from me does not mean another state or country. Read my profile before messaging me unless i message u first. Please be bi curious and willing to be experimental. I do not have a pic other than what you see, do not ask.

11. Finally, someone that got their shit straight. Nice boobs, nice tummy, all this hasn't been a waste. There exist actual human beings in the BDSM community.

DommeNTraining81 Female Dominant, 24, Fairfax, Virginia

My Daddy/Mentor has granted me permission to look for a slave/sub to start my Dominant training. My Mentor is very picky; you would have to pass his approval before hand. Please feel free to email me and we can chat. I am not looking for men and probably never will be. That is my choice not my Mentor.

12. Ugly old whores. Plenty of those. May I suggest that sophisticated 40+ yo gentlemen that enjoy sharing and want to spend quality time together have at least one ex wife and a couple ex-kids available for the purpose. Then again, this may work well for a limited budget.

Amrita Female Dominant, 38, Toronto, Canada

Material Girl ISO submissive affluent gentleman. My favorite fetish is- Financial Domination. Attractive and sophisticated. Great sense of humor, classy, and lots of fun. Tantric Practitioner. Webcam /Phone Actress. Enjoy worldwide travel, books, art, ballet, fine dining, romance, shopping, music (classical, new age), nature/animals, coziness and witty conversations. Im originally from Europe, living in Canada for 15 years... Interested in long-term relationship with a sophisticated gentleman 40's or older that likes to have fun, enjoys sharing, wants to spend quality time together, and appreciates a woman with brains and beauty. A genuine sub who would love the opportunity of pampering Me and spoiling Me in the ways of My wishes and desires. You have to be wealthy.

13. Confused young whores. Plenty of those too. All we can say is OMGBBQWTF.

GoddessParis Female Dominant, 23, Windsor,On. Can , Canada

THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME AND WHAT I WANT. I WAS BORN TO BE WORSHIPPED AND I WILL BE.

I AM a petite 23 Y/O Goddess. I am a sophisticated, pretentious, bratty, beautiful, educated, witty, Goddess who is seeking professional, intelligent slaves who have a sense of humor and a hunger and eagerness to please & serve.

Nothing in life is free. I DO REQUIRE TRIBUTES. I have been a lifestyle domme...there is no difference...I just love the power of taking whats yours and making it MINE!

I don't believe in the old saying "The best things in life are free"... everyone knows the best things in life are paid for. If you truly believe in something and want it bad enough then you will do what it takes to have it.

I have too much to offer to throw it away on a guy that just wants sex. I am a beautiful and interesting young woman who would love to see a powerful man with class and intelligence, begging to serve me. Someone that knows how to show true appreciation for me.

I love to be spoiled and pampered.

I will use you, over and over again. I am not looking to be involved in your everyday life.

14. Lard and Lace. Also known as the nuclear option.

MisstressLayla01 Female Dominant, 44, HOUSTON , Texas

I AM LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS SUBMISSIVE WHO MUST BE IN HOUSTON TEXAS OR WILLING TO TRAVEL TO HOUSTON TEXAS TO BE OBEYED BY ME AND DO AS I SAY DO AT ALL TIMES

15. Motorized Infatry. If the cane fails, the broom is always handy. Thanks for sharing ma'am.

xxxmistressxxx Female Dominant, 34, Mifflintown, Pennsylvania

dom female in central pa seeking sub females or sub couples for play with my master or possibly with myself with masters permission, love many forms of erotic and kinky play

I hope you have enjoyed our short voyage among the tens of thousands of open minded, fabulous people that lurk in the dungeons. I know I do. I might even make a sequel at some point.

1 people want sum.

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