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There's this list of people that piss me off. Up until this morning I didn't know what to do about it, I mean I keep sending them pizza at 2 am and taxis at 3, but other than that I mean.
But luckily this morning I chatted with my friend on myspace and she told me that there was this idiot guy from the strip club that kept stalking her and leaving her pictures of his cock in the mail right where Mrs. Wainwright, the 92 year old snoop in charge of the building would find them, and he also kept sending her emails about how happy he'd make her and stupid Instant Messenger invites. She said she's found a guy to off the idiot, paid him like a grand and poof, the problem went to history. I'm thinking that's pretty cool actually, so I went through my list since then looking who there I'd spend a grand to have whacked, and lemme tell you, it's most of them. Even sorted it out a bit so it starts with the worse of em. So now, I got plenty of money, and want plenty of people killed. I'm paying a grand a pop, so if you're a hitman, or like date a hitman (wow that's cool bitch!!) or anyway, if you know someone that can do it for me, I pay 1k a pop, and it's not even difficult people, I don't have like George Bush on the list or Tom Ridge or that other faggot, Sartorum. Although I probably should. Or maybe someone else wants to put a grand together and rid us of these idiots, think about it, you'll go down in history like that Wilkes fellow, the movie star. You could have like a college party, everyone chips in a ten or a twenty or something and poof, next thing you know there's elections. So let me know if you can kill someone on budget and on time, and if things go well I'm gonna consider giving you like a list of them every week, a permanent contract like. Pretty much like going shopping except you get paid for it. And you don't shop. What could be better ? I'll even throw in free Mets tickets, say a couple every other week or something. Good seats, too, I'm friends with the Transporntation Manager. Also hiring people to dig holes. Only paying $50 a hole. 1 people are finally fucking dead so far. Thanks the Internet. |