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Global Warming Is a Good Thing. Let's sit down and do a bit of math, shall we. The total dry land found on this here Earth stands at 148.9 million square kilometers. Some portions of that land are nice. Some portions and bearable. And some portions are simply uninhabitable. Take, say, Antarctica. It's 14 million km². The total population, however, is 27 as of 2003. That comes to about one million km² per capita. Not exactly well developed, is it ? I wonder why. O, wait, it's fucking cold there, it's like the North Pole and all, right ? Right. What about Siberia, then. 10 million km², give or take a few thousand. There's about 3 million people living there, making it pretty sparse. I wonder why, again. O wait, isn't Siberia actually famous for how cold it gets ? It is. Come to think about it, Canada is also about 10 million km². And for sure some parts of it could use a bit of warming up. So basically, the bottom line is, out of 150, 34 or so are too fucking cold to live in. That's about a quarter. Now, if you had a house, and your garage looked like this what would you do ? What, turn up the heat ? Really ? What a shocking idea. So then how the fuck is global warming a bad thing ? What about the colony of termites that moved into the garage drain? What about all the mice in the basement ? What about upsetting the delicate ecosystem of the icicles on the ceiling ? What about the irreplaceable beauty of the frosting on the windows ? Well, what about em ? Fuck em sideways. Suppose the temperature went up 50 or so degrees. We suddenly find ourselves with 34 million km² that are now prime land. There's more mineral resources waiting there, unexploitable than the total of material ever mined in the entire history of humanity. Five times over. The funny part is that we don't even have an idea how much gold, platinum, silver, copper, oil, tungsten, palladium, iron, etc etc lies in all that landmass. Just think that the average oil company pays millions for the right to prospect a few good looking square km's. And that's just oil. If it weren't so damned cold, most of that would be prime farmland. Farmland goes for an average of $5,000.00 per acre. Let's be conservative here. At 5 bucks an acre, a square kilometer is worth $1.250.00. Therefore, 34 million of them are worth $42,000,000,000. Give or take. Mostly, give. The entire world's yearly Gross National Product is about $30 trillion. If we suddenly added 34 million km², valued at a reasonable $1 million each, we'd end up with $34 trillion. Basically, if every single man, woman and child on this planet just sits on his ass for one entire year, plus another 48 days, but the temperature went up enough, it's even. And that just from the added farmland. So, how does one year and 6 weeks of PAID leave strike you ? And that, just as an entry level package. Of course, there is going to be some collateral damage. New Orleans is going to stay forever underwater. Then again, at least that way we'd know where we're standing. So the low countries are going to be flooded. Big fucking deal, I bet you can't even find them on a map, cause if you could, you'd see they're the size of a thumbtack. Australia will be even more arid ? O, we care so deeply. I can almost hear the environmentalist doofus crowd screeching and wailing like bothered banshees. Are you going to let your garage be frozen for all eternity because you don't want to upset the balance ? What an utter load of shit. You're supposed to upset the balance, that's how live organisms survive. That's the whole point of life, upsetting the fucking balance. Breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide. Eating plums and shitting shit. Fuck the balance, it's your garage already. You do want your free year, dontcha ? So, go turn on the heater. Buy a new car, and don't settle for anything other than an SUV. Maybe a modified Sherman. Never cycle in your life, and if you see anyone on a bike run them over. Petition your senator to bring back CFC fridges, and make sure you never get electricity from a company that uses anything other than coal plants. It's time to step up and do your part. Don't be a slacker. Help terraform Earth. 14 people have started doing their part. Sharehtml is very extremely cretinous, and even worse than thatComment copyright 2006 by Zenofeller this page was made using a bent spoon. anything else is for failures