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As we all know, gangs are in general collections of retarded teens, with the occasional adult that failed to develop sufficient fine motor skills to not need use his gross motor skills all day long. In other words, ditch diggers, construction workers, loading and unloading trucks, maybe the occasional chunk of heaven that is washing dishes or taking it in the ass for a twenty. All empowering, wholesome things that make every living soul envy the greatness of the gang life.
Very few can actually read, and very few can do math in their head. What can you expect of an individual for whom x + 72 = 96 is a puzzling mystery? Certainly not any understanding of the finer points of such arcane strings as # shred -vfz -n 100 /dev/hda Bearing that in mind, there is nothing funnier than a cursory look at gang websites. Yup, before you ask, they were stupid enough to come here. Suppose there exists a group that relies entirely on brute force and ignorance to solve all their problems. Obviously such a group would fail in the real world in every individual instance, over a long enough interval. However, as a group it may well survive, seeing how stupidity-tolerant the real world is. What's the next logical step, then ? Why, moving over to a medium where your only resource, ie brute force, is worth pretty much nothing at all, and your many shortcomings, ie ignorance, are amplified a zillion times. Obviously. It's why we call them stupid. Let's take a look at the juicier parts then, shall we. First off, here's the only thing written in English on the entire site : (Let me mention in passing that having a website written in Spanish is only marginally better than having same in French, or in otherwords pretty fucking retarded in and by itself.) [we are].XV3Gang.[cretins] is fully copyrighted. Absolutely NO Linking, NO Printing, NO Downloading, NO Copying of any materials found here is permitted. How do you like that ? I can't link to them. Cause they say so. Really. For instance, I can't say Click here to see an image of five retarded, malnourished, twatty little teenagers. Seriously. I can't. Also, I can't link to The content of your average gang member brain. Ever heard of Google Maps ? Well, they haven't. Wanna see the museum of unfuckable greaseballs ? Didn't think so. How many impoverished, uneducated and slightly unwashed members of the underclass can you fit into one car ?  13, or as many as you need. They don't mind the smell, but the car won't stay white for long.  What about this dude. Is he on fire or what ? Get it ? Fire. Huh huh huh snort huh huh. Of course, their main ass-et is a certain daring, a sort of bravery not without is own appeal. For instance  Notice the bold display of no-name sneakers ? The flurry of dark, plastic training suits ? The sad fact that you couldn't buy one single suburbanite grade schooler one single shirt for twice the sum the parade uniform of eight project-dwellers would set you back, proudly showcased to the world ? If anything, these kids are brave. Oh, what's that, the image is a bit blurry ? Sorry, they haven't learned how to use the WalMart $5.95 disposable camera just yet, let me enhance the image for you.  You recognize some of those ? Oh, my ! There must be gangz in your hood, dood. I guess they'z az ubiquitotious az they claim. z. Quick, quick, don't call the police, they might bust a cap in yo ass, yo. And I don't want to hear any deformed head jokes. Save it. It's not the kids' fault their gestation was half completed inside a crack addled, zit riddled, cheap chip fed donkey. Uhh, I mean ass. In case you are by now wondering where oh where does all this grey goo of stupid come from, here's the factory. 
It's a shit bucket called Honduras. Some people think that Honduras is a country somewhere, but that's all a clever ruse. Honduras simply means shit bucket in Aramaic, and that meaning stuck. So whenever you hear someone say Honduras, don't be fooled. They really mean shit bucket. Just so you know. Other interesting things one can find on the 18th street gang website is the updated list of states in the US. You see, the Department of States is a bit behind the times, operating still in the eroneous belief that there's 50 or so of them and such. Here's the low down, straight from the horse's mouth. I mean ass. United States : Los Angeles, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Illinois, Kansas, Las Vegas, Louisiana, Massachussetts, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, Nicaragua, North Carolina, Oregon, San Rafael, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, Washington. Just 21 of them left, and a couple shining new additions. The list is updated daily, so make sure you check the horses's mouth oops, I mean ass again, before you file your taxes. Who knows, you might not owe any. 1 idiots with dirt under their nails swore on their mother's father's aunt's cousin's grave's pisspot that they are going to do anything and everything and not rest nor eat nor drink (but smoke pot is ok) until they get this article off the Internet, or they can find five bucks to pay for a hamburger or a coke. Which probably means never. |
