Transcedental Interviews. Today, Diana, ex princess of Wales

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Transcedental Interviews. Today, Diana, ex princess of Wales

ME : Hey there, so glad you could make it.
PD : That's the point, I didn't quite make it, now did I ?

ME : What do you mean ?
PD : Well, they were singing trumpets right and left weren't they ? Great future queen, great with kids, great with people, charitable, cute, compassionate, kind, blonde, what have you. They even thought I'd be the one to straighten out that asinine Charles character.

ME : He's going to be king, you know ?
PD : Going to be the last one, at that.

ME : You had the media paying attention, that's for sure.
PD : And so it was. It was isolating, but it was also a situation where you couldn't indulge in feeling sorry for yourself: you had to either sink or swim. And you had to learn that very fast.

ME : And what did you do ?
PD : I sunk. Like a rock. First time the crown got that much publicity since the war, and not negative publicity, at least not always. But, the pressure with the media was phenomenal. Eventually, it was too much.

ME : You are being too harsh. After all, your education was what, some Kent boarding school ? You graduated in what, dancing and domestic science ?
PD : Yes, my parents thought that's the best thing for a lady Spencer.

ME : Either that, or they couldn't be bothered to even consider the point. I'm not even sure you can get a PhD in domestic science. Sounds like a dead end, academically. And what's this, gained the school's award for the girl giving maximum help to the school and her schoolfellows ? What sort of stupidity is that, what did you do, retrieve stray cricket balls ?
PD : I'm not even very sure, I can't say I remember a time in my life when I actually did something useful. They must have just made that thing up.

ME : Well. there was the anti-land mine campaign.
PD : Now was that a stupid thing with flying colors. That's what we really need, a law against land mines. Might as well pass a law against inept diplomacy, or aggressive wars. Whoever plants land mines doesn't particularly follow the laws, and whoever is that interested in following the laws won't be planting land mines in the foreseeable future. It's like passing a law against smoking in open spaces on the moon. You need the air first.

ME : You had two kids, the older turned out to be quite a playboy recently.
PD : That really is an accomplishment. You will have to take my word for it, unless Hefner manages to convince Charles to star in a movie. He should, at that, the world could see what I had to put up with.

ME : That bad, was it ? Didn't he say he refuses to be the only English prince without a mistress or somesuch rubbish ?
PD : And why do you think it was such an issue getting one ?

ME : Interesting... I always wondered what he saw in that camel he's married recently.
PD : When it takes you most of the day to get started, you can't be very picky you realize ? You are stuck with whomever didn't just fall asleep with sheer boredom.

ME : So, I guess the duchy of Cornwall was well earned then. Poor woman. The boys seem nothing like that, at least not the elder. It would seem you did leave something in the world.
PD : You think ? Why is the boy traveling with four girlfriends then ?

ME : You mean to tell me it's inherited ?
PD : I wouldn't know, I graduated domestic sciences, remember ?

ME : Still, it's a sad testament to the frailness of things down on earth. When you died, it caused a furor. A little later, nobody even remembers.
PD : What would they remember me for ? Just another branch in a long tree that no longer serves any purpose or function. My father was the 8th earl Spencer. Can you name the 6th ? the 3rd ? Any one of them for that matter ? Who was the first and why did he get to be an earl ? He displayed great bravery on the battlefield, or was some great diplomat or if not was always drinking with the king or taking it up his ass without a flinch. Who cares, and who remembers these things ? The only way you even know they were there is cause they spawned me, and I spawned whoever. Any two people of the respective sexes can spawn a third, there's no accomplishment in that. The entire thing would be worth mentioning if any of these actually accomplished something, and then whoever their parents and forefathers were might be of some interest, not of quite equal interest with the accomplishment itself, but still some. But who ever cares who the parents are of a lazy useless slob that does nothing above another lazy useless slob ?

ME : Were you a lazy useless slob then ?
PD : Useless, for sure. Lazy, maybe not, but misguided, for sure. Does it matter if someone does nothing because they are too lazy to bother or too silly to figure out there's anything to be done ?

ME : You did get a divorce.
PD : No, I got myself an Arab pure blood horse with a fast driver. The divorce was arranged for me, for all of us by someone in the Royal-This-or-That. Can't say it took me very far, but fact of the matter is, there was very little in me. While I spread it thin, it lasted a few decades of life at family estates and puffy boarding houses. Then I figured it's time life went into high gear, and all there was dried up in a few months. You can drink a quarter pint with a teaspoon or gulp it all down, it's still going to be a quarter pint. Not enough to be worth mentioning.

ME : Well, you seem a very nice girl, if you want I can send you back down there.
PD : What, descend from heaven and all that ?

ME : Sure thing. I'm sure we can arrange for angels flying with trumpets and a golden ladder too.
PD : Thanks, you're kind. But there's nothing I could do with it, I'm afraid. It would just be more media attention I don't know what to do with. Already failed that class.

ME : It's your choice. See you later, if your stud Dodi doesn't mind.
PD : Ta-da.

11 bored women dream to mary a prince.

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