The Burka.

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The Burka.

The burka is a long piece of cloth that Arab women wear over their head, so their face, hair and what else is there is hidden from the world. Sometimes it's as extreme as to only have a thin slit roughly aligned with the eyes, sometimes its as lax as a mere hair cover, the sort many neo-protestant sects mandate to this day (and the sort any woman of even moderate respectability would always wear in public in many places around the US, back when it was called "the colonies")
Feminists obviously don't like it. People who are into BDSM don't mind it much, it reminds them of various gags and masks they keep in their house, and I suppose to them it looks like the rest of the world is finally coming around. Every now and again some brat or other, fancying themselves on the non-conformist side, will say something like

seriously, why do women think that burkas are so bad? because you cant show off your slutty prettiness? are you that vein? oh right it discriminates against women, and of course we all have to completely disregard the fact that women are entirely different from men when we are formulating the rules that govern our behavior. because sexism is bad. even though the sexes are entirely different. cough sarcasm.

imagine you are an ugly girl who lives in America.

every day, you say to yourself, not "i think im prettier than her" "my boyfriend thinks that i am prettier than her" "i hope my boyfriend doesnt see how pretty she is"

you say to yourself:

"i am so much fucking uglier than she is. i am so much uglier than everyone is"

how do you feel?

now lets say every girl looks like a black sheet. would you ever think such things?

when your arranged husband (as they virtually all are) finally sees you, after never seeing any girls besides his sisters, who he is annoyed by and sexually disgusted by, when he finally sees you, what will he think?

oh god she is so much less hot than my sister! i wish she was as hot as my sister is! or shes a girl, who only i see. and her vagina feels good. and nobody will ever know how ugly she is. if in fact huge noses, ten+ facial moles, a huge underbite, bug eyes and droopy lips are considered ugly.. how would i know? ive never seen a girl who was considered 'normal' before, because uh.. there is no concept of normal girls in my culture. because nobody knows what girls look like.

think about it GIRLS. you never worry about being pretty. the whole concept is foreign to you. sure it sucks if you happen to be pretty. but its awesome if you arent. and if you are pretty, you wont understand what youre missing out on.

its kind of like communism.

(anonymous non-conformist smartypants)

Obviously, if we take the idea at face value, it comes a mite short. Firstly, there's no good reason it should be applied to women only. From now on, everybody should wear black bedsheets over their head. That will have the interesting side effect of making everyone look like they just went berserk when they woke up, got really pissed off, pulled their sheets over their heads and went out. Not to mention every street corner would look like a game of pacman, which is inherently cool.

Of course, having the slit for the eyes is a dead giveaway. First, not all eyes are the same. Second, people, the vain and inconsiderate way they tend to behave, will probably try to circumvent the implementation of the greater common good, and use this opportunity to wink, or make who knows what other signals so they can be recognized. No such petty individuality, I say. No eye slits. This way universality is ensured, not to mention every street corner will have a melee of people headbanging poles, walls and garbage bins. That will look really cool, especially from high above.

With all this foolishness securely out of the way, we are still left with one problem, one last flaw to be corrected before our great plan can finally claim perfection. Voice. So, from now on people must carry voice distorters I guess. However, my technical assistant tells me that there is no way you can make distorters that would perfectly work for the purpose, since there will always be some little trace left of the original. I suppose we will be forced to use selectors. Whenever someone wants to emit a sound, they have to pick that sound from a panel, and press the corresponding button. That way, the same value is always alloted to the same sound, regardless who is the person pushing the buttons.

Lo and behold, we have invented the Internet. Again. Aren't we smart and non-conformistic ? And above all, aren't we young ?

Just how hilarious can you get, above using a forum to post an idea that is a bad remake of the idea that the very forum is based on ? Well, you can always think you are a [boy-]genius, with the tasks of saving the world, showing everyone the way and coming up with all the bright ideas resting squarely on your shoulders. That will add a bit of edge. I'm sure you all know at least one of those, so, in my kindness I build you a free flyswatter, feel free to mash them into a pulp with it.

12 boy geniuses are born every minute.

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