 The Old Bat Takes a Swing At
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The Second Most Benevolent Being In the Universe.
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This fine morning, I spotted something really interesting down there. A picture is worth a thousand words, so here is the picture :
And the words (well, not quite a thousand, the aspiring deity is not that articulate, yet)
What, you may ask, is this act of supreme benevolence ? Why, what rock have you been living under ? The man donated close to 3,000 dollars, or should i say 300,000 cents to the American Red Cross. Only 11 more people like him needed and the Red Cross' Sub-Executive Third-Vice President's daughter's cousins' boyfriend's cat can afford it's feng shui hairstylist (for this week).
Unfortunately, the mundane nature of the poor human does show here and there (although he is trying, and his efforts are commendable). There is even mentioned that "Some of you doubted me. A few of you even thought it was an outright fraud." It seems you can't take the trailer park out of the girl, or the fears and doubts out of the human. As the story goes, perhaps one day when he'll be accustomed enough with being benevolent, and magnificent and divine, these bad dreams will go away.
Sad fact of the matter is, things haven't been all that rosy, not even on the very forum dedicated to his worship. Here's some bits and pieces descriptive of the general mood in what should be, by all means, the main center of the cult :
maddox is sensitive.
he only pretends to be a pirate.
maddox dont try to be someone else, just be be yourself cos that is whats really cool
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I, for one, am shocked and appalled.
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the greater they are the louder the thump when they fall... i suppose as he got old he didn't get reformed, he just got tired. never got the nerve up to leave utah, finally succumbed into middle aged peaceful picket fences life...
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he's dead.
(the fact he's sunk so low as to being defended by hippies is really, really, really the last nail in his coffin. he can go ahead and marry now, get a pair of kids and build his shiney white picket fence around the bank's house, it doesn't matter anymore)
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one single little sentence can make everything turn to shit. i can almost hear you with the crap and fireworks the day he finally comes out of the closet and admits he's really gay... or into sucking off goats or god knows what... one little sentence... as i hear, its gonna be next tuesday.
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truebastard, i'm affraid you're right. so, that's why i wont risk looking on his site again. which was what i posted about, anyway. i just think the odds are badly stacked, chances he'd be funny... chances he'd be grossing me out... ok, neeeext.
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Nah, Maddos has sold out.
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shuddup bartleby, you're gay
oohh, look at me, i'm bartleby, im doing the right thing... done so much of it my asshole is the size of a navy cannon
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Its seriously wrong if you suck shit, moreso if you openly admit to it.
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Thanks for the news flash asshole. It's shame we already fucking know that. No one here but 1 or maybe 2 people think otherwise, and I think the rest of us had already put them in their place.
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MADDOX TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT THIS INSTANT OR YOU ARE GROUNDED
But, from high above there's little I can do to help the aspiring, struggling poor human. Other than posting a little note of encouragement.
Hang in there little buddy. One day, you can be up here too.
16
upstanding Internet citizens agree.
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copyright 2005 by Zenofeller
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