EGYPT
The Pyramids are Forever. Your life is not.
The Old Bat
Takes a Swing At
ROMANIA
A Strange Country
TURKEY
The Magic of The Arabian Nights
COSTA RICA
Other People are Having Fun. Why miss out ?
ASYLUM
The Great American Novel
EGYPT
Follow the Golden Path.
SERVAGE
The Definitive Webhost.
MEXICO
Even the Boring is Lively.
MEXICO
One Step Closer to Eternal Youth.
ROMANIA
Why Donate Blood ? Visit Dracula Castle.
TURKEY
Bosphorus, the Water between Three Continents
Forex Trading
The Dollar supports you. Do you support it ?
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Transcendental Interviews. Today, Paris Hilton
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ME : Hi there
PH : Thats hot.
ME : What is ?
PH : Hot ?
ME : Yeah
PH : That.
ME : That what ?
PH : That which it is, is, and necessarily is.
ME : Ehh ? Point !
PH : It's a metaphysical statement dude. What do you want me to point at ?
ME : You take meth for your physical ?
PH : No, no, meta-physical. You know, the world behind the world and all that.
ME : That is a novel notion. You mean to tell me there's a world behind the world as we see it ?
PH : Of course.
ME : Like a chair behind this chair and a floor bellow this floor and a wall behind that wall ?
PH : Exactly.
ME : A dog behind your dog ?
PH : No, that's a cat behind Tinkerbell.
ME : I always thought that dog looked outlandish. More like a bat, with those ears...
PH : Awww, he's cute.
ME : I guess there's no accounting for taste. Especially not for yours.
PH : I don't have a taste, I wash. Check for yourself.
ME : Not right now, thank you very much. Mind pulling that back down ?
PH : What's the matter, you feel threatened by nudity ?
ME : I feel threatened by that grinning fury animal. Mind letting the boys get a picture when we're done, and I'm out of the room ?
PH : Sure.
ME : So how's your friend, Ritchie.
PH : Guy ?
ME : Oh god, don't tell me you're encroaching on Madonna territory... She will gouge your eyes out you know ?
PH : That old fart ? She'll be a century old before I finish college.
ME : Of that, I'm sure. But i meant Nicole.
PH : Whom ?
ME : Bless you, finally a grammatically correct interview. Nicole Ritchie, your best friend.
PH : I don't know what you are talking about.
ME : Let's go at this from another angle. What's your favorite film ?
PH : Zoolander.
ME : And your favorite Hamburger ?
PH : A Whooper.
ME : And your favourite fish out of the water show ?
PH : Simple Life, I guess.
ME : And who is the star of Simple Life ?
PH : Me. Obviously.
ME : And the co-star ?
PH : That would be Tinkerbell.
ME : Anyone else in the cast you might recall ?
PH : There was some fat cow who brought us refreshments. I don't recall her name.
ME : So you don't know who Nicole Ritchie is ?
PH : No clue.
ME : You know, she said that's hot before you.
PH : She might have said something sounding similar. But That's Hot is a registered trademark.
ME : Really ? For what trade ?
PH : What do you mean ?
ME : You know, for something to be a registered trademark, it has to be used in a trade. What's your trade ?
PH : You know, stuff...
ME : Soo, its registered for use in the business of stuff ?
PH : I guess so.
ME : Waste of money, don't you think ?
PH : What's a waste of money ?
ME : You don't know, do you... A waste of money is what happens to money right before people get to eat at the soup kitchen.
PH : What's a soup kitchen ?
ME : Oh never mind. Do you recall Lindsey Logan ?
PH : Oh, yea, she's hot.
ME : Is she trying to imitate you ?
PH : Probably.
ME : Looky what I found. What do you think ?
PH : I think she doesn't have any balls.
ME : Yea, I agree. It's a pale imitation isn't it ? But you know what they say, sincerest form of flattery.
PH : I personally liked the bit when she was with that fat cow Nicole a couple weeks back, and she ditched her and came over to sit with us. Poor Nicole was simmering.
ME : Aha, so you do know who Nicole Ritchie is.
PH : Of course.
ME : But you just said you didn't !
PH : I lied.
ME : How horribly horrible of you.
PH : So sue me.
ME : Melissa Caldwell might. She said your hamburger ad was very titillating.
PH : Titty what ? Who's Melisa Cladwell ?
ME : Not Cladwell, Caldwell. Although... But anyway, she's with the Parent's Television Council.
PH : The shit you know about. No, but seriously. Where do you come up with all this crap ? Who even knows what a Parent's Council is ? That's like having a commission for warm beer and boring playoffs.
ME : I'm a god, I can't help it. And things like the PTC are good because they give middle aged useless heiresses something to do.
PH : So die young, leave a beautiful corpse.
ME : Not such a bad idea. Oh, almost forgot. What sort of name is Paris ?
PH : It's a perfectly good name.
ME : For a boy, yea.
PH : How male chauvinistically piggish of you. You mean to deny women their just share ?
ME : If you have a girl you gonna call her Tom ? Jerry ? And if you have a boy will he be Susan ?
PH : I never plan that far ahead.
ME : But look at the shit it's getting you in. You're gonna marry that Kasidokostas fellow. His name is Paris too. What are people gonna say, "Do we invite the Parises ?".
PH : Whats wrong with that ?
ME : Do you actually like the fellow ? Or is it only cause of his mom's billions ?
PH : Are you kidding ? He's going to run for president.
ME : He is ? When ?
PH : Just after Hillary's two terms.
ME : Oh god. I need a break. Talk to you later sweetie.
PH : Where's the camera ?
Paris was sentenced to 9
days in prison as a direct result of this interview (and alcohol).
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copyright 2005 by Zenofeller
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this page was made using a
bent spoon. anything else is for failures
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