Transcedental Interviews. Today the late pope John Paul the 2nd.

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Transcedental Interviews. Today the late pope John Paul the 2nd.

Me : Hello
JP2 : May the blessings of our lord and his true son Jesus Christ be upon you.

Me : What did I do, sneezed or something ?
JP2 : My son, you must not take the name of the lord in vain.

Me : I bet you think that song was about you.
JP2 : Song ? What song ? We in the most holy and true catholic church have no time for singing and dancing. Well.. Maybe a bit of dancing on the finger, but not often.

Me : So would you give me head ?
JP2 : Alas, I only have one head and all these crowns for it. There is nothing to spare here my son.

Me : Well, would you bend over then ?
JP2 : (pointing to the shitbag attached to his belly) And what would be the point of that ? My only asshole I left in some hospital long ago. Maybe you might inquire with the doctors.

Me : Dear god you are a mess. You obviously require a bit of polishing.
JP2 : Yes, I am, and proud of it.

Me : So what do you think about the nazis ? Were they a necessary evil or what ?
JP2 : They were necessarily evil.

Me : I have a feeling you only say that because the americans won the war. Otherwise the tune would be pretty different
JP2 : God, in his mercy, always shows us the way.

Me : It is a fact however that the catholic church and the papacy were more than accomodating to the nazis back then. Was it because they were looking like they could take the jews out ?
JP2 : Alas, my son, that all happened in a very troubled time, during a previous pope. I can not answer for the deeds of others.

Me : But I thought you were the father of the lot ? Sort of last in the line of Jesus representatives ?
JP2 : That does not include people who died before I was elected pope.

Me : Come to think about it, just how you got to be pope ? Was it an election ? Or was an act of god ? Or what ?
JP2 : God manifests his will through the council of cardinals

Me : Isn't that a rather backhand way of doing things ? I mean, wouldn't it be simpler to just have the next pope pop out of nowhere on the day the current dies ? Or maybe make a burning cross show over the chosen's head or something ?
JP2 : We are just humble sheep, we are not to question the will of the lord.

Me : I still say some cool special effects would go a long way. No wonder you're loosing adepts back and forth. Adepts are dumb, they need cool stuff to keep focus. What you do now, black smoke white smoke sort of tricks are behind the times something fierce.
JP2 : It is a matter of tradition. Things have always been done that way. Why should it change now, suddenly ?

Me : You know, something changed every five centuries or so barely qualifies as suddenly. After all you had that cool glass car thingy, by tradition you should have ridden all the way to church on your ass.
JP2 : We do our utmost to uphold the church and the gospels.

Me : Are you infallible ?
JP2 : Yes, all popes are.

Me : Interesting you should say that. At some point, the infallible pope Paul ruled that Galileo Galilei should recant his scientific view that the earth revolves around the sun and not vice versa. More recently, the infallible pope John Paul admited that the earth does indeed revolve around the sun. Did the planets switch in the interval ?
JP2 : (quietly sits there, emitting blurby noises)

Me : What about the communists ? You never said much openly against anything they ever did, yet somehow the people now remember pope John Paul as instrumental in the fall of comunism.
JP2 : It is the duty of the father to care for his sheep, in such a way that they come to no hardship

Me : I thought the church was all about the truth, on which we can't have a vote the american way ? Yet popes are elected, and now it turns out they are more concerned with politics than any sort of transcedence ?
JP2 : The popes are just an instrument of the will of the maker.

Me : Why would we need them identified then ? If they are just instruments, who cares who is pope ? My car might be pope next, and nobody would notice.
JP2 : (just sits there and appears asleep)

Me : Bah this is getting boring. Alright shu back to the hell's kitchen you good for nothing hunchback, there's a pile of dishes waiting.

Why the hell do I even bother with pathetic cult leaders ?

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